Tuesday, January 13, 2009


The Mayan calendar ends upon December 12, 2012.

Many assume because of the uncanny accuracy of the Mayan calendar in predicting earthquakes, eclipses and other natural phenomena, that the end of the calendar means the end of the world. Several have predicted catastrophe, cataclysm, and ultimate destruction.

And yet, very few actual Mayans believe this is the end.

In fact many see December 12th not as the last day of the last days, but as perhaps the first day of something new.

After growing and surviving through months of increasing struggle and decline from circumstance beyond the grasp of my control, I was fired from my job. Directly, the incidents are unrelated, however the dismissal sits like an unnaturally colored cherry on the layers of things I've had to wade through in the past few months. I was let go after one week. Though I'd like to think it had very little to do with me, the fact still stands silently as a sad commentary on me, my capabilities, and my current state.

Lately, it looks and feels like things are dying. It may be dramatic of me to say so, but the deterioration of what I know can feel like an end of days or something along those lines.

Perhaps, instead of slow ending, my calendar is only changing - beginning anew.

During the four days I worked this job, I was given a unique opportunity to watch the day begin from darkness and slowly blend the colors of day into my surroundings, and then later recede and return, changing the colors once again. Watching the sunrise felt exclusive and rare knowing that hundreds of people around me in their apartments or hotel rooms were sleeping or otherwise occupied. Perhaps I was the only one watching it.

The beginning of day is so gradual, especially in winter, when the cold seems to darken the air anyway. And yet, from the black obscuring darkness, sure enough - the day comes. If indeed the world does not end, but in fact only begins something new upon the 12th of December, I wonder what the birth of that day will look like.

Just as I wonder, with perhaps the decline of my own Mayan calendar, what I have to look forward to. With the darkness of the night and the corruption of our times, with my own struggles, from this comes something new. Perhaps there is something new I must learn in a new job, or someone I must meet under different circumstances. Maybe I need a new start. I think it is time for me to move on.

The time has come.

And with this, I will try to start again.


Herlinda said...

Thank you for your words. they were beautufuly written. I'm happy and excited for your new start! like i said before, sometimes what may seem like a bad experience ultumetly brings the greater bless.

Taylor Weaver said...

yeah, you're gonna get through this and look back and laugh. Everyone has experiences that they perceive to be insurmountable. The truth is, the supposedly insurmountable trials in our life are the most life-changing. We make it through and our lives are all the better for it.

Sylvie said...

Whoa, I need some details.
Sorry about all this!
And I've got to agree that it will be the beginning of something new.

Taylor Weaver said...

wait, 2012 is going to be a movie, right? let's hope that it's the first disaster movie where the world actually comes to an end. I mean, that'd be a twist. No one would ever see that coming because everyone's afraid of sad endings these days.

Ruth Dudding said...

Olivia, you amaze me...I appreciate your pure heart. Your choice for the sweet instead of the bitter says alot about you. M. Scott Peck wrote a book called, The Road Not Taken. He said this: "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
I love you.